Navigating Divorce

If you’ve decided that ending your marriage is the best path forward, the road ahead may seem uncertain. As you move forward, remember that your decisions now may have a lasting effect on your family.

Divorce can be hard on the whole family. The breakup of a marriage is an emotional and stressful time for parents and for their children who may have trouble adjusting to the many changes in their lives. Confidential counseling and other sources of support are available.

Keeping up with a fitness routine, eating a healthy diet and practicing self-care during difficult times can help reduce stress. The article Being Your Best: How Healthy Are Your Habits? can help you identify harmful habits and ways to overcome them.

Check out these resources for well-being:

The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act helps protect the legal rights of service members when they are on active duty. Typically, when one spouse serves divorce papers to the other, the latter must respond within a certain time period. Under the SCRA, however:

• Civil court or administrative proceedings may be extended if the service member shows they are unable to attend for duty reasons.
• Service members may be protected in certain situations from default judgments for a failure to respond to a lawsuit or appear at trial.

Military legal assistance attorneys can help you understand the implications of your divorce, and your communication with them is private. They can also refer you to nongovernment civilian lawyer referral services. To find a free military legal assistance attorney on an installation near you, visit the Legal Services Locator on the Military OneSource website.

For divorce or legal separation situations that require representation in civil court or involve contested issues such as child custody, spousal/child support or division of assets, you will want to consult with a civilian attorney.

The Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act is a federal law that provides certain benefits to former spouses of military service members. Former spouses who do not remarry may receive medical, commissary, exchange and/or movie theater privileges under the MWR program, along with other benefits, if they meet the requirements of what is known as the 20/20/20 rule:

• The former spouse was married to the military member for at least 20 years at the time of the divorce, dissolution or annulment.
• The military member has performed at least 20 years of service that is creditable in determining eligibility for retirement pay (the member does not have to be retired from active duty).
• The former spouse was married to the member during at least 20 years of the member’s retirement-creditable service.

Military benefits, including health benefits, moving costs, housing and more, will be affected by divorce. In addition, your finances and custody of your children will all have to be settled as your marriage ends. The military has legal and financial consultants to help navigate the process.

Until the divorce is final, the non-military spouse may retain their identification card and continue to receive commissary, exchange and health care benefits.

Other benefits that will be affected include:

State law and local procedures largely govern divorce, but there are a few federal statutes and military regulations that may apply. You can access free military legal assistance to make sure you are abiding by the laws and rules. However, it’s important to note that legal assistance officers only offer guidance to either the service member or the spouse, in order to avoid any potential conflict of interest.

Military lawyers — called judge advocates — are also available to help you and your spouse understand the legal implications of your divorce. A JAG officer cannot represent you or your spouse in a family law court — but can refer you to a civilian lawyer. JAG officers also cannot represent a client in a family law court.

Attorneys at an installation legal assistance office can provide free information and advice on issues such as:

• Divorce and child custody
• Income tax considerations
• Servicemembers Civil Relief Act
• Wills
• The Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act

Whether you’re dealing with the legal, emotional or other aspects of divorce, Military OneSource stands ready to help. Call 800-342-9647 or connect through live chat. Living abroad? Find dialing options here.